So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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