you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
