come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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