i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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