I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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