she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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