exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
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I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
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I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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