White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
