Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
