Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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