you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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