I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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