Where did you get a picture of my penis
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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