I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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