After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she told me i tasted like america
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
