you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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