We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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