dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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