Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
