i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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