This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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