when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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