six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
