My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
