What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
