so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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