Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
