from now on my penis is your penis
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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