You work out of a Hotel?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
