she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
