bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
