If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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