I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
