I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
