the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
