I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
