yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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