She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
