if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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