shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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