One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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