I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize