Dual....:-)
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
