Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize