I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize