been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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