Define "chronic" masturbator.
...so i touched it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
