she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drake has all the answers
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
