Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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