apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We left the knife in your bed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
