'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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