can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
