i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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