Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are we still banned from the library?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
