Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
